


Pushed

by Davechicken



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Supportive partner, Transgender, Transman Kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 01:35:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9525833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Hux has to push his boy a little, to get him through the discomfort. Kylo always appreciates it after.





	

**Author's Note:**

> **Content warning: _Dysphoria. Genital dysphoria. Pre-op transman._** _Please note this may make you feel uncomfortable_. Please go into this knowing that Hux and Kylo _have_ discussed things beforehand, and there is an agreement that Hux as Dominant will push Kylo a little, because he knows how to read his responses, and he knows he benefits from coming out the other side. This isn’t picture-perfect, but - I sincerely hope people know they are just as capable of a loving relationship and can work through discomforts with a partner who tries their best to understand. Sex isn’t all wonderful. Sometimes you get pubes in your teeth, or cramp. (Sometimes you get this.) If that’s okay with you, click on. If you need to stop, stop. Remember you’re beautiful. [And this is a more positive spin on it.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8732407)

Kylo stands as proudly as he can, even though the position is not his favourite. The posture collar keeping his head up takes some of the pressure of compliance away, even if it means he’s aware of every. Single. Breath.

Behind, a long, leather tongue drapes over his spine. There’s metal loops caught at regular intervals down it, designed for Hux’s ingenious rope-work. His lover’s hands run over the length of it, looking for the middle.

Kylo isn’t always fond of this because the lines Hux drapes over his chest feel uncomfortably like the old bras he used to wear. He hasn’t said as much (and he’s ashamed to), but Hux sometimes plays a little close to the line, anyway.

If he _really_ didn’t like something, he’s sure Hux would stop. Absolutely sure. As it is, it’s just a niggling reminder of a person he no longer is, and never wanted to be. The loops around his chest either feel like the constraints he used to need, or the binding he would wind perhaps a little too tightly. Hux thinks he needs to gently push through these discomforts, but Kylo isn’t _entirely_ sure. By the end he’ll be happy (he always is), but to begin with the memory sparks deep unease in him.

The central loop is shored low on his back, and then Hux starts the binding that will shore off the penis-that-isn’t-real. Kylo wants one he doesn’t have to detach, but he has to be ready for the healing period after, and the war hasn’t given him much chance to finish off his change. 

(He also doesn’t know, entirely completely, that the medics will do it right. What if he loses all sensation? He likes anal sex just fine, but - much as he’s not fond of his other hole, it does have nerves he wants to preserve. And anyway… it’s a lot to go in for. A lot.)

Hux brings the biggest toy they have, one that flares out both sides from a central unit, with holes for harnessing in place. Kylo can’t always get wet enough to be penetrated straight out, so Hux slides lube over ‘his’ end, and strokes it between his lips. 

“Such a good boy for me, aren’t you?” his lover coos, and strokes the ‘outside’ bit of his favourite cock. “Already getting so full for me. Look at you,” he says, and strokes a thumb over the head.  


It should feel. It should feel inside, or - well - outside. Touches there should register, and the fact they don’t is distressing for a moment. Kylo closes his eyes as the toy is stroked harder, and parts his legs, wanting this bit to be over. 

Hux turns the vibrate function on, and holds the toy up and lying through his stupid gash. Kylo feels the thumb over his clit and he imagines it’s at the end of his dick, just like Hux had touched a moment ago. He grunts, and then there’s a bite to his shoulder to distract him. He flinches tight, and then there’s a whisper: _relax_.

Little by little, the toy slips into him. He tries to pretend it’s entering him from behind, that it’s filling his rear, that it’s Hux. That helps a little, and he opens his eyes to see Hux gazing adoringly at him. In, and in, and still softly pulsing like he’s being very gently fucked. 

He can do this. He can.

The external ‘lips’ between both shafts are pushed into place, the little buzzing V-shape that touches what he one day hopes will be a real cock. The rope leashes his fake-erection into place, and Kylo fights to push the internal stimulation into feeling the aching weight rising from his hips as _him_.

(Don’t get upset. Focus on the feeling. Look at Hux. Look at his eyes, his hands. He knows you’re a man. You know you’re a man. That’s all that matters.)

The ropes continue, making a tidy dance under his navel. Around, behind, shored off. They criss-cross and lattice over his back and his front, holding him as securely as Hux’s own hands would. Not so tight he can’t breathe, not so tight it hurts. The scars around his chest blend into other scars, but the battle was no less fierce no matter where it was waged. Sharp silver and pink memories of pain, and Kylo appreciates which ones are touched longest, and which given short shrift. He needs the aim to be elsewhere, and Hux knows.

Up, up, and the pressure settles out to an even, corseting hug. It’s no longer oppressive, offensive, or bad. It’s always okay when he gets to this stage, when Hux guides him through the minor discomfort in search of the greater satisfaction.

“Good?” Hux asks, checking his circulation.  


“Yes, Master,” Kylo sighs, feeling the weight of the day slowly drip from him. The sensation of the rope, the tiny pulses between his legs.   


“I’m going to make you good and loose before I fuck you, my boy. Going to make you come screaming my name, so your hole is open and fluttering for me.”  


Yes. Yes. He wants that. It’s about the only blasted thing his chromosomes have given him: the ability to climax over and over. Of course, it had taken Hux to find out he was even capable of that, because alone he’d been too disgusted to manage anything extensive, and he is _so, so, so_ lucky Hux loves him enough to do this.

A flick of a switch, and Hux has his ‘cock’ in hand. It’s synched, so every stroke, pinch, flick or twist will translate into something in the internals, which is as close as they can get without surgery to letting Kylo feel his dick. It’s not perfect, but it’s close enough.

“You’re so good for me, Kylo. So good. You’d do anything I asked of you, wouldn’t you?”  


“Yes,” he says, without hesitation.  


The hand twists, and Kylo’s arms - hoisted tight above his head - pull hard as a counterpoint. 

“Anything?”  


He nods, and his mind automatically goes to things he would rather not do. It’s automatic, and he hates himself for how easily he’s been played. Hux doesn’t even need to work the things out, he just opens the door and all the horror rushes to the light, clamouring to be seen.

Another hand in his hair, pulling his head back, exposing his throat for lips to slide along. “Would you fuck me, if I asked for your pink cock?”

He has, and he will again. Kylo nods, frantically. “Yes. Yes, Master, yes.”

A thumbnail gliding into the fake-flesh, and Kylo feels it like a thin knife inside. Not enough to cut, but enough to make him aware. _Don’t think about the operation_. 

“Would you offer me your throat?”  


“Yes, Master, _yes_ ,” he insists. He loves the feel of Hux’s cock, so very much. It’s a beautiful masterpiece, and it tastes of all the good things in the galaxy. Kylo loves the way it silken-glides down his throat, filling him with his come.  


Teeth on his collarbone, his hand pumping faster, shoving the little V hard over his clit. Kylo rocks into the hand like a desperate man, craving something he can’t quite have. A flick of a switch, and then Hux is pulling and squashing at the shaft, making the one inside stretch on the internal workings, pounding him like he’s fucking-and-being-fucked in one. The external gesture, the visual cue, it all helps and Kylo cries out in shock as Hux sinks his teeth into the side of his neck, where the collar gives way to skin. The pressure and thrusting doesn’t abate, making his whole body rock with the bouncing, and he ruts against it with an aching hole and a mental jut combined.

Damn, damn, damn but does it feel almost right. He wants to push his face into his arm, but the collar keeps him from doing it properly, and then is surprised when the hand in his hair grabs his chin instead.

“Look at me, boy. Look at me when you come.”  


This toy will milk some of his juices, combined with some of its own, and spurt when one of them switches it to. It’s why it’s Kylo’s favourite, because it’s the only way he can ejaculate for ‘real’. He stares at Hux’s face.

(Am I really enough for you?)

His climax starts, and the pleasure doesn’t just stop all at once, but makes his thrusting manic and uncontrolled. Sharp, beautiful bliss that he wants to fuck into Hux’s hand, and the external shaft starts to gush the fake-ejaculate, spurting over Hux’s grip.

When Hux finally stops stroking him, Kylo is strung out and panting. He’s not necessarily done for, though, and when his lover stands behind him and he hears the unzip of his fly…

Feeling nice and relaxed from his first orgasm, he tilts his hips in offering. Moans vocally at the fingers stretching him wide, feeling better there than it ever could in other places. He’s so fortunate he can still give Hux what he likes, and he starts to bounce himself until he’s gripped by the forearms, the hand leaving his hole.

“Master _please_ ,” he begs, needing that grounding, that filling, that satisfaction. For years, he’d felt it never quite work when he’d used his _other_ thing, but this - this feels like it should have felt. He’s certain, because few things get him off harder than sucking cock, or taking it. _No, it doesn’t make me straight. No, it doesn’t make me - that - I’m **me**._  


He repeats it as the fingers push into him, slick and ready. He’s eager, and he rides the hand until it’s sure he’s ready, then - one palm around his cock - Hux slides his own into Kylo, his other holding his collared throat.

“You are _my_ boy, do you hear me?” Hux’s voice is death and the seductive-sweet promise of eternal existence.  


“ _Yes, Master_.”  


“You are my boy, and you are going to come on my cock, like the good thing you are, aren’t you?”  


Kylo squirms, loving the rougher jerks now Hux is in him. “ _Yes. Master.”_

“You’re going to come so hard you only know me, and how much I love you. You’re going to spit your load all over the floor, and when I’m done with you, I’ll untie you, and you can clean my cock with your mouth.”  


An honour indeed. Kylo purrs, and bounces between hand and cock, feeling the two inside of him stretch him almost beyond what he can bear. It’s good, so good… and his climax hits him almost before he’s ready, dropping his weight onto his wrists as he grunts in low bliss.

He drifts, his insides still worked, soft and hazy until Hux shunts his load in deep. It’s a blessing, and the sudden release of his wrists has him dropping to his hands and knees.

“Such a good boy,” Hux purrs at him. “Such a very, very good boy.”  



End file.
